I don't really like food.
But I'm fat, this is because I have a husband who loves to cook and has made feeding me his life's work.
He loves cooking and tries his hardest to come up with meals that I will eat and I like.
Its not easy for him, my favourites are Chinese, Thai and Indian food, basically rice and noodles and a bit of meat.
So when he optimistically asks "what do you want for tea?" he already knows the answer.
Maybe he hopes that one day I will give him a different answer, but after 29 years you would think he'd give up.
I don't cook as to me it's a waste of time, I'd rather be doing something far more interesting like crocheting.
I did cook for the first 18 years of my marriage and I managed to feed 3 hungry babies well enough for them to survive to adulthood.
But 9 times out of 10 I burnt rather than cooked, I am an expert at rescuing burnt food and saucepans.
As they grew up with crunchy brown foods they knew no better, maybe its why none of them really cook either.......
At some point in time my patient long suffering husband tried his hand at cooking and discovered he loved it and was far better than me, so ever since he has been the chef in the family.
I do have 2 or 3 specialities that I cook.....
1 - Chicken soup made in the pressure cooker by boiling up the chicken carcase for hours, I add pea's, chopped up sausages and a hand full of noodles before serving, the kids loved it and we have it every time we have roast chicken.
Boiling bones for hours can result in a very burnt pressure cooker if I get too distracted.
I don't have very good sense of smell, so if I forget that I'm making soup I have a lot of pan rescuing to do.
Phil recently thought he had to buy a new pressure cooker as I had managed to build up an inch of burnt bones in the bottom of the old one, but what he didn't realise was that I had rescued the old pan from a lot worse - needless to say we didn't eat chicken soup on those days.
2 - Passion cake
I have made him a passion cake on Valentines day every year since I've known him, except for last year when we had a old slightly broken cooker that didn't cook evenly, I didn't want to risk ruining one of the only things I'm good at.
One year we ate half the cake and forgot the other half as it was put in a cupboard we didn't use.
I have never let him forget the mouldy cake :-)
3 - Cheesy beans - I hate baked beans, but if you add grated cheese, worcester sauce, chopped onions and peanuts they become edible.
He likes to get me too make them for him as he likes to encourage me to cook.
My most memorable disaster was the day we moved to Lynton I decided to make a curry for 5 of us as we were all exhausted and I'd been left in the flat whilst everyone drove up the hill to unpack the van at the studio.
I did very well, no burning, it tasted okay and was ready to eat, I was very proud of myself.
Then I opened the cooker hood to put the fan on to clear the steam.
The glass fell out on top of the cooker, smashed and my curry ended up full of broken glass, I think we ended up eating frozen pizza.
Occasionally I am left alone to cook for myself, Phil is a member of the Blue Bull pool team, so I have to feed myself.
I have become a big fan of ready meals.
But on occasion I have frozen pizza, on my pizza nights I need to have a back-up pizza ready to be cooked just in case I burn the first one.
The dogs love my pizza nights as they normally end up with the first burnt one.
One memorable night there were no pizzas or ready meals, he suggested I cook sausages, I knew sausage cooking was going to end badly so I had a peanut butter sandwich for my tea, which after a dyeing day is not a good thing.
I have a lot of friends who love to cook and have consulted with some of them about writing this blog.
My dear friend Jeni is passionate about cooking and posts about her exploits all the time, she approved of my blog idea and thought it was funny, although when she realised that Dais and I were serious about either eating rubbish or nothing for lunch she was slightly shocked.
So Jen - this blog is dedicated to you :-)
And Sarah - thanks for backing up Jen with the permission to let us go for it!!