It's been a while because we've been busy. Simple.
However today, Homer (Mr Boss) forgot to bring in his sandwiches. Let me tell you a little about Homer before I continue with regaling you with our biscuit challenge.
Homer is food conscious.
What I mean when I say that is, he doesn't wake up in the morning and come to work, he wakes up in the morning and makes lunch and then comes to work with the lunch. Unlike Queenie (Mrs Boss) and myself who wake up and then come to work and then consider the idea of eating the mouldy orange when we're hungry before shaking our heads and continuing with work.
But today he forgot to make lunch and as a last minute think, they bought in a packet of dark chocolate digestive biscuits and a packet of Cheddar's.
It came to crunch time when everyone's stomach began to rumble and we gathered around the packets of biscuits eagerly.
Once opening them it didn't take long before we started to play a game. The biscuit challenge game.
How many Cheddar's can you fit in your mouth and chew down? I managed 3, egged on Queenie to do the same, she rammed them into her gob before we remembered she has no back teeth (I hear this is blamed on sugar sandwiches at a young age).
At this point we were both laughing hard and spitting Cheddar bits all over the studio. Queenie eventually managed to get them down by nibbling at them with her front teeth, however it did take a while. Now, in comes Homer, who, on hearing 3 was the record delves his hand into the packet and takes out 5... yes, 5 Cheddar's. He then opened up the cavernous hole he calls his mouth and in one swift motion slide them in, chewed for about a 30 seconds and they had gone.
This action somewhat heated things up in the biscuit challenge as we pulled out the dark chocolate digestives and goaded each other on to how many we could fit in our gobs.
This resulted in the game ending and pieces of masticated biscuit in the sink.
Queenie couldn't even fit one in her mouth, let alone chew it down.
Homer and I, cocky and hungry, both put in 2 biscuits at the same time.
He went red and I couldn't breathe so needed to spit some out.
Not only is the digestive biscuit thicker than the Cheddar, but it is a damn sight bigger as well. Have a look.
Homer won both games.
Queenie and I managed to add a light sprinkling of biscuit crumbs to the floor where we had failed.
We briefly discussed how it was a possibility that Homer could unhinge his jaw like a snake, which made him the victor of the challenge, but in truth I think it's just because the man loves his food, or maybe he does secret jaw exercises so he can eat more. Who knows.
Congratulations, big gob.